Good Grief
Two years ago, my beloved brother Karl left this world, and (I thought) I welcomed Grief as a new life companion.
The thing is, my brother loved humour. And he also loved honesty and transparency.
So he came back again and again in my moments of meditation, reflection, despair, anger, lightness, loneliness… He kept coming back until I received this message from him:
“Ha Ha - I am not where your grieving journey began. You have been grieving a long, long time my love. You just haven’t realised it.”
What The Fuck, Karl?
What have I been grieving, unconsciously?
The missed opportunity for a ‘happy’ childhood.
The inability to have a relationship with my father.
The chance to be nurtured and known as a child.
The loss of my childfree life.
The loss of financial ease.
Relationships that weren’t a good fit.
The life I thought I wanted, or presumed I would have.
Perceived failures or missed opportunities.
Perceived shortcomings.
Loss of connection with nature and its rhythms.
And… Karl.
So here I am, embracing it all. Knowing that great growth comes from holding the vast and deep space that our grief demands.
Grief is valid. Your grief is valid. Don’t push it away.
In a world that rushes us through the most painful moments of our lives, let us enter the pain unafraid. Let us hold space for one another’s pain without projecting our own hurried fears onto it.
“You have to move on.” - “You’ve got to put on a brave face.” - “You need to toughen up.”
Soften up!!
Allow your body and soul to feel what they feel. Healing can only (ONLY) happen through feeling.
Let’s feel it all.
Grief and Growth.
Love and Life.
Sunshine and Shitstorm.
It’s all part of the process. And we can choose to experience it all.
There’s life after grief. There’s life together with grief. There’s growth inside grief.
So let’s get our grief on, people!
